I CAN'T SEEM TO GET OUT THERE...
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Mon, 16 Apr 2007 by Susanna Loewy
I swore this year would be different. I swore I would ride.
I still will. This summer, in the mountains of Vermont, I will ride. I have to ride. I'm signed up for a Half Iron-Man and then a 101m race, and I have to be able to ride a bike.
I have the Wildflower Olympic race in less than 3 weeks and I have yet to get on my bike since last June. June 25, to be exact...the day of my IronMan.
Part of it is that the weather hasn't changed yet. There is no snow, but the temperature is still in the mid-low 40s and it's been raining for almost a week now.
I lead Spinning classes, so I have been 'riding' for 45 minutes 2 times a week. But Spinning is not the same as being on a bike; we all know that.
I'm excited about my new wheels, but they're 700s and my bike has 650 wheels and I feel like an idiot for not realizing that before.
Another part of it is that I don't have a support group here. I don't have people to ride with, people I look forward to seeing and who could drag me across town in rush hour to do a bike ride with just a simple phone call.
I could find some; I could find some quite easily; I've been offered training partners, in fact. But I've resisted, and I'm not sure why.
Okay, here's a start. So much of riding and triathlon in general is tied up with Cleveland; I almost feel like I'm betraying something when I find different people to train with. Those memories mean so much to me; it was a time when I was figuring so much out, when I was discovering something completely new within myself. And Cleveland and people who helped me along the way are just so intertwined that I have a hard time imagining triathlon without them.
And also, I'm scared to get back on. I'm not scared because I think I might fall (I probably will), but I'm scared of what it'll feel like to get back in the saddle.
I've never been a strong rider, and taking almost a year off? I'm not sure I can recover.
I can. I have to. I want to. This triathlon stuff? It's part of me now, and I'll take it wherever I go. Cleveland will always be where it started, but it can't be where it ends.
This weekend, the weather is supposed to clear up. I'll do my best to get some miles on that bike of mine...
