WHEN THE POOL IS MORE THAN HALF-EMPTY
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Tue, 29 May 2007 by William Lobdell
So the Iron Kahuna drags his sorry ass to the local high school pool last night. It's one of those epic journeys after work, where every traffic light provides another opportunity to detour home. But the Kahuna stays on course. After all, he allegedly has an Alcatraz triathlon coming up at the end of June, although he hasn't hit the pool since before Wildflower. Just getting to the pool seems like a victory.
Amazingly, the Kahuna arrives a little early. So he pushes his seat back, flips on Howard Stern on his beloved Sirius satellite radio and relaxes a bit. After 20 minutes, he has a decision to make: get wet or go home. Against all odds, he gets out of the car and heads to the pool.
As he makes his approach, he discovers the pool is closed. Upon closer examination, the pool was more than closed. The pool was empty. As in no water. A sign taped to the gate said it all: Pool closed for renovations. Will open in the fall.
Eff me. Now the Kahuna is going to have to find a substitute pool. It's amazing how attached he'd gotten to the Corona del Mar High School pool. It's big (25 yards by 50 meters), salt water (instead of chlorinated), outdoors and clean. He couldn't go back to that bacterial pond at his health club (25 yards by 3 narrow lanes) with disease and infections lurking in every molecule of H20. It's just too freakin' gross.
That leaves the Newport Harbor pool, where a masters team works out from 5:15 to 7 each morning. Has the Kahuna mentioned that he's a night person?
What to do? Well, the Kahuna is going to sleep on it.
